Thanksgiving… With Change and Grief

This past year, my husband’s sister Olga died. Although she had been sick before, her cancer was in remission – so we all thought. We spent a great Christmas together, our happiest ever perhaps. She went home and did not feel well in January and immediately went to the doctor. Her surgery was on January 30. On March 23, she was gone.

This will be our first Thanksgiving without Olga and we are all bereft. I think of my friend who lost her husband one year ago from this Thursday. I think of another woman who lost her mom, who lived with her and was her best friend. I keep thinking of so many people who face Thanksgiving with an empty chair like ours.

Which is why I have not stopped thinking about this post from the blog A Concord Pastor, by Fr. Austin Fleming. From the post, which is the work of Fr. Fleming:

Dear God,


There is an empty chair at our table,
an ache in our hearts
and tears on our faces.

We may try to shield one another
from the grief we bear
but we cannot hide it from you.

We pray for (names)
whose presence we miss 
in these homecoming days.

Open our hearts and minds
to the healing and warmth
of the light of your presence.

We pray, Lord, and we trust 
that those we miss
have found their place at your table,
their home in your heart.

Open our hearts to joyful memories 
of the love we shared
with those who have gone before us.

Help us tell the stories
that make present the past
and bring us close again 
to those we miss.

Teach us to lean on each other
and on you, Lord,
for the strength we need 
to walk through difficult times.

Give us quiet moments
with you, with our thoughts,
with our memories and prayers.

Be with us, Lord,
and hold us in your arms
even as you hold those 
who have gone before us.

Help us to trust that one day
we shall be with those we love
when your mercy gathers us together
in the joy of the life you promise us.

This is the day you have made, Lord:
help us to rejoice in it
and in the promise of your peace.

Amen.

 

 

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7 Responses to Thanksgiving… With Change and Grief

  1. My prayers join yours for you, Mark and Erica and all friends and acquaintances who will have an empty chair this Thanksgiving.

  2. Shelly

    This post so resonates with me, Fran, as the holidays near and the longing for those who shall no longer be at the table tugs at my heart. No coincidence Thanksgiving is in the month of remembering – I remain grateful for the privilege of loving and being loved by family members and friends who have blessed my life – and I miss them.
    Praying with you and for you and yours.

  3. My dear Fran,

    On January 17th, at 3 in the afternoon, the very hour of Mercy, my niece lost her 19 month old son when he simply stopped breathing. This is our fist Holiday without him. I intend to read this entire post to my family at Thanksgiving. You have reached the hearts of many, many people with this post, and I give thanks to God that I have the privilege of knowing you. We share your grief for Olga. May the souls of the faithful departed through the mercies of God rest in peace.

    stephen

  4. Pingback: Thanksgiving For All Who Have Lost Someone « Pastoral Postings

  5. Maryann Haskell .

    Fran, that chair remains empty not matter now many years and yet the chair is filled with love and memories of a life well lived.

  6. Thanks for posting this, Fran. The chairs will remain empty as long as there are chairs around the table. There will come a time when they will be filled again. My prayers for all who grieve and who face one of the toughest times of the year. Dcn. Jim

  7. Thank you all for the comments – we all know the pain of loss and holidays are hard. Thank you for the prayers and for walking in community together – that is a gift.